3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize