On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
