I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
