Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i've created a new STD.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
