Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
