carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
