I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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