I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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