My first STD was from a foam party
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
