I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize