imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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