One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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