Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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