i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
