i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
