no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
