sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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