Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
false alarm, still single
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
