I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
