party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
