nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
do herpes really smell.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize