if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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