I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
