So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
