man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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