everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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