why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
