absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
