I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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