After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
