She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
