Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
