Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
