Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
