So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
