Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
