last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize