I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I pour the whiskey from now on
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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