There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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