I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
