your thong is hanging out like whoa
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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