fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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