If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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