She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
