I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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