who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i've created a new STD.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize