I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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