I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
