he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Couch. On fire.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
