maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
