How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
