**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
