So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize