A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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