You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
