he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
