I hate all girls vehemently.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I want is dick and wine.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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