I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
